breaks my heart

to see you wave and smile at me

as if nothing is wrong

you phone rings twice then goes to voicemail

i know how to ignore

i just want to let you know that i am sorry for 2 things

and 2 things only

i'm sorry i went to the mountains that night you worked

to smoke that herb with that strawberry blond boy

nothing happened but that's not the point and i understand

i'm again sorry for the night i let you walk all the way downtown

because i was too tired to drive you

and at the time

i was too tired to care

those nights haunt me and i wonder if those nights changed

would we have changed for the better,,,

i tell myself to be strong but it is a lot more work then i thought it'd be

you have a heart so big but no room for me

i want to change for you as you changed for me

scribbles

april convinced me to take an online personality test today. it was interesting, but mostly dead on to who i think i am, or who i want to be. i havent decided yet. it is funny how a test with less than 50 questions can come up with 2 full pages about you and who you are and be mostly right. the results basically said everything i already knew about myself, but it is now official that these traits live inside me because i took an test and my results will be recorded forever. a confirmation that i am a good person with positive feedback, almost justifies my poor performance in school this term.reminds me of a substitute teacher i had countless times in school, she was famous in our school district for reading faces.whether she knew how to read faces or made shockingly good educated guesses she always came about 95% right every time. we already knew these things about ourselves, it was just fun to hear someone else call on these traits that were hidden in our faces and she never asked 50 questions or any.

it said i was a great writer which i believe it half true. yes, i am a writer in the sense that i write and enjoy to write, but would i call my self great? i'm not sure. i scribble random thoughts and daily events on to paper or the Internet in hopes to connect to another human being. but does that make me great? or course not, it makes me lonely and maybe evidence of the increasing time i make for my hands.

i still have yet to find a cause that i am passionate about.. i'll keep searching

number two

as with all great blogs, the blogger has a cause, a reason, a subject the voice is speaking. i did research most of the day on causes that i could join and support, i do not think i found my perfect cause but i learned about global warming. there is so many simply habit changes society knows they should make but refuse to, like RECYCLING, there are people who still do not recyle. Or buy a go drink container (water bottle) or never use plastic bags.... EVER! This is not new information. needless to say i am supporting the global warming cause.

a cause. i need a cause. does anyone have suggestions?

http://www.stopglobalwarming.com/

check it out !

Day at the Park

Day at the Park with my Charlie!!

The sun was going down while my little black dog and I rolled around in the grass at Reed College... Isn't he so adorable? He is my happiness :) I have to give him a hair cut soon because he is going to move 1000 miles south to my hometown of Kingman, AZ. Hot Hot !